Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I wish there were birth control emojis
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
