I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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