i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
