uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
