Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
