Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
