we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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