i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
