So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
