Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
that may or may not have been my penis.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
