i jhust puked up my retainher.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
