i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
