How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
