So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
