Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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