Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
