he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
