Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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