WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
