i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
