Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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