Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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