Michael Bay diarrhea
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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