Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
