i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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