That's when you crack a 10am beer
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
