I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
