bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
3pm strippers are depressing
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize