WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
As shirtless as possible
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
