kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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