Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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