Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize