You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
