Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
