plz talk dirty to me
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
