I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
