lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
ok first of all what the fuck
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
