We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
