you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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