All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
