I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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