I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
