I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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