dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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