Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
