I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
