one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
