just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
