Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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