you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
