found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
