A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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