No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
