wat bout pragnant strippers??
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
