she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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