Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
