She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
