is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
