So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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