Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
